I have a bag of frozen peas in my pants AMA.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 11/30/2016 at 11:53 • Filed to: None

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S65 > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:56

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Are you gonna take them out and eat them

crowmolly > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:56

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Did your wife/girlfriend have to sign the pre-surgery paperwork too?

Hope it all goes easy for you.

vicali > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:56

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Haha, were the nurses nice?

PatBateman > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:56

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Why?

Jcarr > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:57

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How long did it take?

Was it awkward?

Does it hurt?

Where do they anesthetize you?

Tripper > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:57

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TheHondaBro > PatBateman 11/30/2016 at 11:58

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*adjusts pants* What, you don’t have a bag of peas in your pants?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:58

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He done got snipped

TheHondaBro > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 11:58

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Me too, but probably in a different way.

Tekamul > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:01

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Are your ears filled with the screams of countless unrealized bastard spawns?

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:01

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Peas are small.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tripper 11/30/2016 at 12:01

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It’s no longer Business Time.

Nothing > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:02

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I remember when my buddy had his reversed....that one really hurt, according to him, of course.

facw > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:05

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Are they the Trader Joes ones that got recalled? I think I have a bag of those in my freezer, but am too lazy to verify if they were part of the bad batch.

TheRealBicycleBuck > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:05

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The obvious question: are you suffering from shrinkage?

Jcarr > S65 11/30/2016 at 12:06

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I hope you’re talking about the peas.

404 - User No Longer Available > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:06

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vicali > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/30/2016 at 12:06

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oh flip!

Khalbali > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:07

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How was it? Planning on taking the frozen pea plunge myself once we can afford it.

S65 > Jcarr 11/30/2016 at 12:09

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I was

Wacko > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:10

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BorkBorkBjork > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:10

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Does it look like applesauce?

vicali > Nothing 11/30/2016 at 12:13

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mtdrift > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:17

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Best decision I ever made. Hands down.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:18

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My good friends, for the first time in our history, a Calzone Golem has returned from Surgery clinging peas for boner. I believe it is peas for haired limes .

XJDano > crowmolly 11/30/2016 at 12:18

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My wife didn’t. She was there for the initial visit, and we brought our kids. We were like, this is our final answer.

CalzoneGolem > BorkBorkBjork 11/30/2016 at 12:18

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I’d say it most closely resembles a bag of frozen peas.

CalzoneGolem > Khalbali 11/30/2016 at 12:20

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I’ve had worse dental appointments.

XJDano > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:22

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The right choice. Thanks for being responsible. I’m with you bud. Imagine helping someone move today. It’s not the lifting that got me it was the 2 flights of stairs.

Don’t do anything until Monday if you can help it. ANYTHING.

Did they prescribe you a Xanax to take prior to procedure?

CalzoneGolem > 404 - User No Longer Available 11/30/2016 at 12:22

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For science.

CalzoneGolem > TheRealBicycleBuck 11/30/2016 at 12:22

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The shrinkage is real.

CalzoneGolem > facw 11/30/2016 at 12:23

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IGA Grade A Fancy Green Peas

CalzoneGolem > Nothing 11/30/2016 at 12:24

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Yeah, I won’t be going through that again.

CalzoneGolem > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 11/30/2016 at 12:25

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I peaed my pants.

CalzoneGolem > Tekamul 11/30/2016 at 12:27

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Like sweet sweet music to my ears.

CalzoneGolem > TheHondaBro 11/30/2016 at 12:28

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We should form a club.

TheHondaBro > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:31

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Off to Drivetribe!

CalzoneGolem > Jcarr 11/30/2016 at 12:32

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1:30 all in

A bit.

It’s not bad.

Yes. I took a Valium an hour before which I guess was supposed to help and they used a local.

CalzoneGolem > PatBateman 11/30/2016 at 12:33

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Feels good man.

phenotyp > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:33

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Glad to hear it. Timely post— I’ll be in the same place next weekend.

Did you go with the Valium option, or straight-edge?

CalzoneGolem > vicali 11/30/2016 at 12:34

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Yeah we all had a pleasant talk about kids and pets. Kinda surreal.

PatBateman > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:34

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How long do you have to keep said frozen peas on presumed nads?

And is it worth it? Asking for myself.

CalzoneGolem > crowmolly 11/30/2016 at 12:35

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Nope she didn’t need to. All good so far.

JustAnotherG6 > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:35

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Not a question but a comment.

I hope for your sake they did not nick a vein.

CalzoneGolem > Jcarr 11/30/2016 at 12:35

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Oh yeah so was I.

CalzoneGolem > S65 11/30/2016 at 12:35

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They get stuck in my teeth.

scoob > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:36

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Am I the only one who took this literally? Lol

S65 > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:43

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send caffeine 

Takuro Spirit > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:46

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Did you shave or did they do it for you?

(I shaved myself)

CalzoneGolem > scoob 11/30/2016 at 12:46

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I literally have a bag of frozen peas in my pants.

CalzoneGolem > JustAnotherG6 11/30/2016 at 12:47

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The main vein.

vicali > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:49

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lol;

“How is your day going?”

‘uh, pretty terrible actually..’

CalzoneGolem > PatBateman 11/30/2016 at 12:49

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A couple days.

Totally worth it.

CalzoneGolem > phenotyp 11/30/2016 at 12:51

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Valium but I don’t think it did much. Just made my limbs feel a little heavy.

Spaceball-Two > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:52

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You sir are producing some good Oppo today. Carry on and hope you have a good recovery.

CalzoneGolem > XJDano 11/30/2016 at 12:52

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I plan to sit in this chair as much as possible for the next 2 days then I am going go sit on my butt at work.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/30/2016 at 12:53

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Whirled peas.

JustAnotherG6 > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 12:56

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I mean a blood vessel/vein. That... delays things for a bit.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:02

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Peas in our groin.

shop-teacher > PatBateman 11/30/2016 at 13:07

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Yep, it’s worth it.

phenotyp > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:11

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Good to hear, since I opted out...

CalzoneGolem > Spaceball-Two 11/30/2016 at 13:13

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Glad to oblige.

CalzoneGolem > vicali 11/30/2016 at 13:16

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Tis just a scratch.

CalzoneGolem > Takuro Spirit 11/30/2016 at 13:18

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I shaved myself. They told me if I didn’t they might not do the procedure.

CalzoneGolem > S65 11/30/2016 at 13:19

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Sending please wait ...

Sending failed. Please try again later.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 11/30/2016 at 13:23

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Mind your peas and queues.

shop-teacher > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:23

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Will you consume the peas when you are done icing with them? I elected to throw away the crotch peas. I hate waste ... but it’s 88 cents.

CalzoneGolem > phenotyp 11/30/2016 at 13:25

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You can do your own frozen peas AMA.

S65 > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:27

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how do you explain divorce to a 9 year old

Takuro Spirit > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:27

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I was told I could do it, or they would. I went a little nuts (pardon my pun) and shaved a lot more than was needed. But hey, if there’s less bushes around the base of the tree, it looks bigger.

I learned that from Minecraft.

CalzoneGolem > shop-teacher 11/30/2016 at 13:28

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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:30

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Putting a new spin on “wedding vegetables”.

shop-teacher > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:31

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Ha! That’s great.

I want to build a spoon catapult now.

phenotyp > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:32

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I was thinking: bourbon. Or Scotch.

Definitely on the rocks.

PatBateman > shop-teacher 11/30/2016 at 13:38

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Wife had her thingies snipped. I’d like to get mine done JUST IN CASE.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:44

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For business or pleasure?

shop-teacher > PatBateman 11/30/2016 at 13:51

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Nice! I would go for it, you can’t be too safe there. They actually put me under for mine, because I have, “difficult anatomy” ... also because I’m incredibly ticklish.

I wish they had offered us that option to snip my wife’s bits when she had her C-section. It would be nice to be doubly covered.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CalzoneGolem 11/30/2016 at 13:53

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CalzoneGolem > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 11/30/2016 at 14:00

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Lost a bet.

CalzoneGolem > Takuro Spirit 11/30/2016 at 14:04

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I do a bit of manscaping so it was ndb.

I learned that from Frogger.

CalzoneGolem > S65 11/30/2016 at 14:05

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Sock puppets.